pointless observations, part one

It's all got a bit serious of late. I've turned into some angry ranting creature which is of my nature, however, seriousness is not. So when this happens, I'm going to pull out a few pointless observations. Things I've read or seen somewhere that have tickled me. Nothing important or impressive at all, but I am easily amused and am hoping someone out there is easily amused too.

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Last week on Yahoo news, this story popped up:
"A convicted murderer is on the run after he fled a secure mental hospital, police said."
Obviously it wasn't that secure then?!

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Embarassingly, I buy the News of the World on Sundays occasionally (mock me if you will, though I never believe anything they say. I basically buy it for no reason, then point out the innacuracies).
In their 'lifestyle' supplement, which is cringingly called Fabulous (it is less cringeworthy than Sarah Jessica Parker calling her perfume Lovely, mind you), there was a section about how everyday life is making you put on weight.

No, it isn't because you sit on your arse most the day watching terrible TV and stuffing your face with burgers, it's because you enter your house through the kitchen apparently. Though my favourite was this suggestion:

"Fat factor - That New York street scene? The antique Bovril ad? Whatever you've got hanging on your walls, it's probably doing nothing for your waistline.
Slimming solution - Invest in pictures of healthy food, likes bowls of fruit and veggies."

Shit, those photos of burgers I have on my wall MUST come down! Oh, and that one of New York because, my God, looking at New York makes me want to eat a WHOLE American city in one gulp!

I think a trip to Argos is needed, so I can buy a nice new camera and take photos of broccoli and carrots to stick in a frame on my wall. I'd rather eat the frame mind, but it's better than nothing. I'm going to Argos via car of course, because walking makes me want to eat pavements and concrete.

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In a similarly awful paper, Piers Morgan slagged off Jonathan Ross for 'crawling up his guests' arses'.
Well Piers dear, it's an improvement on crawling up your own arse, which you are the undisputed king of!

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It was announced Bruce Springsteen was one of the headliners at Glastonbury Festival. On a messageboard, users pondered whether his E Street Band were also playing, as it wasn't listed. To which one person remarked: "There has been a huge communication breakdown, i know from my sources its neither of the above, the actual headliner is Bruce Forsythe & the Sesame Street Band."

Now, that would be amazing. Brucy coming onstage with Big Bird on bass guitar, welding nothing but his prehistoric, yet charming gags. It would be nice to see him, to see him nice (being one of his jokes).