Dear Aunty M

Dear superinjunction footballer man who cannot be named but everyone knows your identity,

After wasting a reported £50,000 on a superinjunction, you must be pretty peeved that your name has been leaked allover Twitter huh? Everyone and their pet dog/cat/tortoise now knows you've been fooling around with some girl from Big Brother (who I didn't know existed til now) to the ignorance of your poor wife.

Surely your wife and kids must've heard the rumours by now? I mean, I am suspecting they don't live in some cave with no internet access and avoid speaking to anyone who doesn't also live in a cave. And I assume your kids don't go to school deep in a jungle where the pupils are also oblivious to the rumours.

So maybe threatening Twitter and the hundreds of people who have tweeted your name isn't the best way to save money. The horse has bolted.

And by 'eck, that money you are spending on legal action is probably best spent on going towards the countless bunches of flowers, expensive handbags, designer shoes and other wallet-emptying gifts that your poor wife will now have to be won over with.

Don't thank me for the advice given - you're welcome. Though a man with as much money to throw away as you have demonstrated, I certainly wouldn't argue should a nice cheque pop through my letterbox to reward me for my wisdom!

Yours sincerely,
Aunty M

Return of Dreams of Pavement blog, 2011

It's been a while all zero readers out there! Hows it going? We must catch up soon!

My absence on this blog is about to change (I hope). The reason for this two year gap is that I was accepted onto a Masters course at Teesside University and promptly entered deadline hell. Inbetween shorthand lessons, law lectures and trying to understand the concept of discourse analysis (I still don't know what it means), I have found it difficult to keep this up to date with anything worth saying that isn't "zzzz".

Upon many lessons about how to write effectively, I was horrified to read back some of the entries in here to find they were weak. Therefore I have deleted the majority of them, bar a few that I felt were my witty best. Which isn't saying much but a girl has to try now and again.

Now the bulk of uni-stress has passed, I will make an attempt at providing a commentary on current affairs and issues. If we're all honest here, a fashion blog is what gets the readers these days but for the girl who only wears black, one should really stick to news. I am nearly a qualified trainee reporter afterall. Sort of.